What Is Date Rape? Laws and Penalties

Date rape is a term colloquially used to refer to sexual assault by a person involved in a romantic or potentially romantic relationship with the victim. Acquaintance rape refers to a sexual assault by someone the victim knows, whether that's a friend, neighbor, teacher, co-worker, or someone else they know. Most states no longer use the word "rape" in their statutes, instead calling the crime sexual assault, sexual battery, or criminal sexual conduct, but the legal standard is the same everywhere: Rape is sexual intercourse without one party's free and voluntary consent.

What Is the Legal Definition of Rape or Sexual Assault?

Laws define rape or sexual assault as engaging in sexual intercourse without the consent of the other party. Consent must be freely given and doesn’t require the other party to resist. Words or conduct indicating lack of consent are enough. There’s also no consent when the other party is physically or mentally incapacitated or the aggressor uses threats or drugs to gain compliance.

Does an Intimate Relationship Affect the Legal Definition of Rape?

Neither a current nor a prior relationship between the victim and offender negates or changes the crime of rape. A person can be raped by anyone—a spouse, dating partner, ex, acquaintance, friend, relative, or stranger. The mere fact that a victim knows their assailant is irrelevant to the legal definition of rape.

Plus, all states have rape shield laws in place that generally prevent a criminal defendant from introducing evidence or asking questions about the victim’s past sexual behavior or reputation.

How Many Rape Victims Know Their Attacker?

According to RAINN, the vast majority of sexual violence is committed by someone known to the victim—around 60% for adult victims and more than 90% for child victims. Stranger rape is less common. Unfortunately, the reference to date rape can lead to the misperception that the rape isn't a "true" rape (in other words, forcible). As noted above, force is not an essential element to the legal definition of rape.

Another social or cultural problem with the term date rape is that it refers back to the time when women were expected to resist sexual advances (regardless of their level of interest in pursuing them), and men got a pass for being sexually aggressive, especially on a date.

Such stereotypes persist in the context of date rape in other ways, too. A person who accompanies their date home (or invites them in) might have a harder time convincing the police and a jury that rape occurred. Dress, behavior, and consent to some sexual contact could all factor into how credible an alleged rape victim seems to a judge and jury. Despite recent survivor-focused movements, gender and sexual stereotypes continue to persist.

What Are the Penalties for Date Rape?

Most states consider rape or sexual assault a felony offense, regardless of whether it’s date rape or stranger rape. Felonies are punishable by prison time ranging from one year to life imprisonment. The actual penalties will depend largely on the circumstances of the crime.

Harsher penalties could come into play if the victim was a minor, incapacitated (drugged or unconscious), developmentally or mentally disabled, or coerced by a person in authority (like a teacher, coach, therapist, or religious leader). In addition to prison time and fines, a person convicted of rape must register as a sex offender. A judge may also order restitution (compensation to the victim).

What Are Common Defenses to Date Rape?

Where an individual charged with any crime of sexual assault can show that the other person consented to the sexual contact or penetration, the individual charged will be acquitted. However, if the victim is under the legal age of consent or mentally incapable of giving legal consent, the defense of consent will not be available to the individual charged.

In date rape or acquaintance rape cases, the underlying relationship between the victim and assailant makes issues of consent even more prominent than in stranger rape cases. Questions of legitimate misunderstandings, when consent began and ended, how lack of consent was communicated, and assumptions made based on past consent can all arise in a date rape case.

Can a Date Rape Victim Sue Their Attacker?

Yes, a victim of date rape can sue their attacker in civil court for damages. Most often, the victim files a personal injury case for battery. Battery is an intentional tort (wrong) committed against another that involves intentional and harmful or offensive contact with the victim. The victim doesn’t need to show physical injuries. Some states have specific civil lawsuit actions for sexual assault victims.

A victim can sue even if criminal charges aren’t filed or the defendant is acquitted. A plaintiff in a civil action needs to prove that the defendant violated the law by a preponderance (basically 51%) of the evidence. The state, in a criminal case such as rape, must prove that the crime occurred beyond a reasonable doubt (a near-certainty standard).

Consult an Attorney

A charge of sexual assault of any type is a very serious charge. If you have been charged with a sex crime or face an investigation, talk to a criminal defense lawyer. Anyone facing charges who can't afford a lawyer should ask the court for a public defender.